Fear the dead or not...


Does Gabe have an irrational fear of the undead?

What scares you?

The answer for me is easy: zombies. I know that they don’t exist. My brain says it’s an irrational fear but my heart says motherfucking pitter patter. It wasn’t always so. Zombies used to be slow moving jokes. Something you could outrun or push over with a nudge. But no longer! Thanks 28 Days Later and Walking Dead. Now zombies run faster than Flo Jo. Their teeth in constant chomping motion. How is my chubby ass supposed to out run them now? I find myself checking the streets at night while I walk my dogs. Omg is that a zombie?? Oh thank god it’s just a morbidly obese raccoon eating a small child. Phew! When I’m out and about I make quick exit strategies because you never know when the zombie apocalypse is going to happen.

Call me overly cautious if you will but I won’t be caught off guard. I haven’t fully gone off the deep end. I’m no where near a full on survivalist or prepper. They too creep me out. I know. Add them to the list! Maybe what it comes down to is me watching too many zombie movies. Or watching too many zombie tv shows. Or is it the comic books? Video games? Nah! I just love to get scared. It’s an adrenaline rush and entertaining af.

So yes I’ll be watching the next zombie movie. But I’ll be wearing my running shoes, you know, just in case.

-- GS